talk lit, get hit

disney adult won’t shut up about brownies - the spanish love deception by elena armas

• talk lit, get hit • Season 3 • Episode 3

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over the last few years, our tastes have changed and our minds have been opened to the likes of bride by ali hazlewood and the hating game by sally thorne. this month we are reading the spanish love deception by elena armas. we talk tropes like workplace romance, one bed, enemies to lovers and big man x tiny woman. we also discuss disney adults, male characters as a mirror, Hilary Duff and the cost of baked goods at our local cafes. will this scintillating spanish love fest continue the theme or will it be more of a siesta than a fiesta? special things mentioned in the episode:

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join talk lit, get hit podcast for deep dives into the hottest BookTok recommendations, trending contemporary fiction, and literary favourites! each episode features book discussions, spoiler-filled chats, and thoughtful literary analysis of novels everyone is talking about - from viral romance and fantasy to modern classics. whether you’re looking for BookTok book reviews, author interviews, or a virtual book club experience, out podcast is your go-to space for readers who love stories and want to explore them in depth.

talk lit, get hit are reading and recording on Giabal, Jagera, Jarowair & Turrbal lands. we acknowledge the cultural diversity of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and pay respect to Elders past, present and future. always was, always will be.  

Laura

They're on the plane to Spain. Oh my god, we've even made a joke about that. Torain in Spain. Hello and welcome to Talk Lit Get Hit, a podcast where we read viral books the internet won't shut up about and rate them lit or shit.

Bridget

We're your hosts Bridget and Laura, lovers of sad girl fiction and tragic endings, fearers of smut, urban fantasy, and the Who Did This To You trope. Join us as we pick apart all the books the internet loves and embark on a journey to figure out why.

Laura

As is so often the case in February, love is in the air. Love is all you need, love is all around. Love struck, love sick, epic love, real love. And so, of course, we had no choice, once again, but to read the most titillating, tantalizing, and terrible book that BookTalk had to offer us. This month, as voted by you, we are reading The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armos. Bridget, hello.

Bridget

Oh, I got so excited that I nearly jumped in and ruined the hello, hello.

Laura

Oh my god. Hello, hello. Hi. The weeks have flown by, but it has been a little while since we've caught up properly.

Bridget

Yes. I've been seeing a lot of people online saying that January felt like the longest month ever. And I think I have to agree.

Laura

It hasn't been that long, but how are you progressing with your 2025 ins and outs?

Bridget

I actually had to go back and listen to the episode to remember what my 2025 ins and outs were because I'd already forgotten. But happily, quite well, my screen time average is not eight hours. This week it was six hours. And I think that was including my laptop. So that's pretty good. Tick. And also I haven't been on threads. So that's what I'm most pleased about. And I have been this close so many times. I'm like, no, I don't need to know what other people say is none of my business.

Laura

I'm really happy for you because I feel like it wasn't until you brought it up in the episode that I realized the trap that I do fall into with threads, which is wanting to know more and inevitably being angered or let down.

Bridget

So annoying.

Laura

How about you? How are you progressing on your 2025 ins and outs? Well, likewise, I can't really remember many of them, but um the bad news is that wind chimes are still ugly. I did send you a photo the other day, but I went to the post office and I don't know if this is a universal thing, but post offices in Queensland at least seem to have a bunch of random crap in them. And it's kind of good when the line is long and you're like, hmm, maybe I do need a portable boiled egg maker to take to work.

Bridget

Why are the lines always so long? No matter what time you go, I think they're all hired actors standing in line.

Laura

What what are we doing at the post office? Every post office is just a portal to another dimension, and all of those people are there as like a cover.

Bridget

I think so.

Laura

What's the code word? Maybe it's portable egg boiler. Yeah, true. Maybe you have to purchase wind chimes. Oh, yeah. So did you see them at the post office?

Bridget

Yeah. That is weird.

Laura

They were so ugly. They were like metallic, shimmery. I think it had like a gecko or something on it. And you know those like sort of I don't know how to describe them, flat glass beads, like flat marbles that had a chokehold on like I love them. They were so special to me in the early 2000s.

Bridget

Yes. And they're always that sort of lovely, dark, deep blue. Yes. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Laura

And it had some of those stuck onto them.

Bridget

So that's quite nice.

Laura

Yeah.

Bridget

See, when people say, like, oh, you know, 2000s core, Y2K core, that's what I think of. Like, well, if you're gonna commit, go full day core then. Get out your geckos, get out your flat marbles, get out those little bath pearls that no one ever uses. Please. Glass fruit and vegetables that you just put or like the bottle of olives.

Laura

Oh, yeah.

Bridget

Or other things.

Laura

Chilies in oil fading on your windows.

Bridget

Where is it then? All these TikTok girlies? Where's your 2000s decor?

Laura

Yeah, that's so true. You haven't lived until you've had one of those random plastic spiral things that just spin in the wind.

Bridget

In my last week of holidays, I did a lot of shopping. I was just going into lots of shops with my mum. I saw a lot of wind chimes, and I have to tell you, I was on the lookout. Not one was good. It's so ugly. Yeah. It's a gap in the market.

Laura

Yeah, I think it is. Maybe next month I'll have an answer. And apart from that, the only other thing is sadly, I have once again let microfiber into my life.

Bridget

Oh no.

Laura

It's a blessing and a curse. So I placed an order with this company Skipper that does reusable cleaning products or dissolvable cleaning products. So I got this starter pack that had like laundry sheets and dishwashing tablets and multi-purpose cleaners, and it all smells really great and it comes in nice packaging. But it also came with a tote bag, win. Yes. And three microfiber cloths. Boo. The texture is the problem. You might have to get some gloves. I mean, they do their job so well. Did you expect to be talking so much about cloths at this point in your life? No. Neither. One last thing that I will say. This is maybe something that I neglected to mention in our resolution making 2025 ins and outs episode. But in lieu of tangible like do or die resolutions this year, I'm just keeping a running list of all of the stuff that pops into my head where I think, oh my god, I should do that, or wouldn't that be fun? And just ticking it off as I go. And so this includes things like go on an overnight hike, knit a sweater, run 5Ks, beach camping trip, make a pavlova.

Bridget

I love how it started. Overnight hike. Run 5Ks. Whip some eggs.

Laura

But like the thing is, like, isn't it ridiculous that that is the bar, like whip some eggs? And it's something I think all the time, like, God, I'd love to make a Pavlova. And it's been like five years of thinking that, and I still haven't made one.

Bridget

I remember when I was like 18 at an op shop, I bought a plate that had a Pavlova recipe on it. And I was like, I'm gonna make one, and it never did. Oh, but do you know where it is? I don't know. Well, no idea. I'll have a look. That door's closed. But also just Google it.

Laura

Yeah. Well, it's fun if you don't have the plant. I think so. I think so. All that to say, I've ticked off one thing on the list, and that is to eat ice magic. Let me tell you, it was fantastic. Oh, that's good. Brown had never tried it, he was a fan, but it is just like oil. Oil and chocolate. Is that what it is? Yeah. You've ruined the magic for me. Yeah. You can make your own with coconut oil. Anyway, like I endorse it, but you could probably make your own and it would be yummier.

Bridget

Okay. Not as magic though, is it? I realized when we were editing the last episode that we completely forgot to talk about our reading goals for the year. So we had a lovely time talking about ins and outs. But how is your goal going? What is your goal and have you read any good books this year?

Laura

My goal's going well. It was, I think, the same amount of books as last year, which was 60 books, and I got there. I read a lot when I wasn't working, and I've read much less since I started working, but I did read some bangers. Notable Mentions to The God of the Woods by Liz Moore and Evenings and Weekends by Ocean McKenna. And I'm also reading We Do Not Part by Han Kang at the moment, which is fantastic. And I think we'll get a special mention at another point again in this episode.

Bridget

How about you? A little teaser. Nice. I am pleased to announce that as of last night I have reached my goal for 2025.

Laura

Excuse me.

Bridget

Thank you. Thank you very much. Yay. A few people on Goodreads that I've been friends with for the last few years, I've noticed that they set themselves a goal of maybe 10 books or sometimes even zero books. And I've always been curious as to the reasons why. And this year, when the app was forcing me to make a decision, I was like, I can't think about this anymore. And so I just did 10. I've done it. That's amazing. It's great. Bad news is not really many good books since we've last spoken. So I did read Lap Voner by Otessa Moshveg at the start of January, and that was great. I also read The Message by Tanaheese Coates, and that was fantastic as well. I have been reading a surprising amount of nonfiction. I read the Taylor Swift book by the Rolling Stones writer Rob Sheffield. It was alright. I've read Atomic Habits twice. I've read The Spanish Love Deception twice. And then the only other one was Orbital by Samantha Harvey, which was disappointing.

Laura

Well, you had literally big dreams about this book.

Bridget

I did. In my dream I had a few weeks ago, because I was thinking about this book, I had it on hold in Libby and I sort of knocked it back the hold a few times. Side note, how good does that feel? Not right now. Come back when I'm ready. I said no. But I knocked it back a few times and then I had a dream about it. And the book that I wrote in my head that was orbital was way better than what the book was. This is a Booker Prize winner, so maybe what my brain is telling me my dream book could be a Booker Prize winner. Problem is also, I mean, it was it was lovely writing, but unfortunately, it's about space. Who would have thought a book called Orbital with space like images on the front cover would be about space? But it was.

Laura

Not a space fan. Lock it in. Less space in 2025.

Bridget

I hate space.

Laura

I'm terrified of space, so I'm there with you.

Bridget

Yeah, they were just literally orbiting around the earth, and I was like, why would you want to be doing this?

Laura

The truth lies in the title. It really does.

Bridget

There were so many signs.

Laura

Well, I think this is an excellent segue into our discussion of The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Amos. How about you?

Bridget

Yes, let's go. I can't wait.

Laura

Okay, as always, before we get started, I would love to know what your initial thoughts, expectations, hopes, and dreams were for this book.

Bridget

I was cautiously optimistic about reading The Spanish Love Deception, even against my better judgment, because we have had quite a good run of surprising ourselves with romances that we have enjoyed for the last few months. We had Bride, we had The Hating Game. Can't think of another one, but I'm sure there was another one. Was there another one?

Laura

No, that's pretty much it.

Bridget

That's pretty much it. At the same time, I have seen a lot of negativity surrounding this book. I remember about two years ago, sort of when we were starting the podcast, I watched a Jack Edwards YouTube video where he absolutely slammed it. He called it dog shit. And that's really stuck in my mind. I found this book in a street library and I was like, I'm sure one day we'll read this on the podcast. So I was ready. How about you?

Laura

I was feeling really similarly. I think last year I displayed a lot of character development in liking books like The Hating Game and Bride. But as we sort of have established when we were due to start reading this, I'd just come off a run of like really excellent translated fiction and literary fiction and like a really good mystery. And so the thought of heading back to something in this realm was really unenticing to me. I actually hadn't really seen anything about it. You know, I see it popping up on lists, and I know it's a book talk book, but in terms of high praise or the lowest of low reviews, I hadn't seen anyone talking either way. I think we have received quite a few messages over the course of doing the podcast of people saying, read this book. We would love to see you tear it apart, which tells me, okay, maybe this book is of a certain standard. I think, yeah, I really wasn't looking forward to reading this.

Bridget

I had pretty low expectations. As much as we'd love you to stick around, this episode will undoubtedly contain spoilers for the Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas. If you'd like to avoid them, press pause on the show now and subscribe so that you can come back and find us when you're done reading.

Laura

In our episode this month, we may be discussing themes of disordered eating, fat phobia, and scenes of a sexual nature.

Bridget

Catalina Martin desperately needs a date to her sister's wedding, especially since her little white lie about her American boyfriend has spiraled out of control. Now everyone she knows, including her ex and his fiancee, will be there and eager to meet him.

Laura

She only has four weeks to find someone willing to cross the Atlantic and aid in her deception. New York to Spain is no short flight, and her raucous family won't be easy to fool.

Bridget

Enter Aaron Blackford, her tall, handsome, condescending colleague, who surprisingly offers to step in. She'd rather refuse. Never has there been a more aggravating, blood-boiling, and insufferable man.

Laura

But Catalina is desperate. And as the wedding draws nearer, Aaron looks like her best option. And she begins to realize he might not be as terrible in the real world as he is at the office.

Bridget

Okay. With that out of the way, I wait with faded breath to see how you feel about this book. And I don't think I'm gonna be surprised. Laura, tell me your post-read feelings for the Spanish love deception.

Laura

I I know this is a huge statement, and I know I've been making statements like in this vein a lot lately, but I think this is my most hated book I've ever read in my whole life. I have never, I honestly feel like I could cry because I don't think I can express what I'm feeling. I have never wanted to stop reading a book so badly in my life. I just feel like someone tied me to a chair, taped my mouth shut, and I was just screaming for the whole time reading this book. I can't describe the feelings it unleashed in me.

Bridget

I'm obsessed with this.

Laura

How about you?

Bridget

I mean, I'm right there with you. I don't think it's the worst book I've ever read, but it's pretty, it's pretty close. It's so bad.

Laura

Isn't it just so interesting? I have dug deep trying to figure out what exactly it is about this book that has got me so bent out of shape. At no point reading this book did I feel anything, anything other than absolute frustration or rage or just like full body exhaustion wanting this to be over. Exhaustion is a good word because it's so long as well.

Bridget

It's so long. Silly 500 pages. Okay, let's dial it back a little bit and quickly just talk about the author before we get too into it. Good call. So The Spanish Love Deception is the author's debut novel. It was independently published on the 22nd of February in 2021. And after it became popular on TikTok, the book was picked up by the publisher Simon and Schuster, and there was an audiobook released in November of 2021. It was a nominee for The Goodreads Reader's Favorite Romance in 2021, and it was the winner for the reader's favourite debut novel. Unreal scenes. In the category for the reader's favourite romance in 2021, we had past podcast book The Love Hypothesis. There was a book by an author that I'm constantly slagging, It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey. Neither of those two won. And obviously this one didn't win either. But the winner was People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry.

Laura

Yeah, it's Justice was served.

Bridget

And I would also say The Spanish Love Deception received less than half, so 40,000 votes. But I would say since then I have seen this book constantly on TikTok. But at no point did I really know what it was about, other than what I would imagine based on the title and the cover.

Laura

Yes.

Bridget

And I don't really know much about the author.

Laura

I didn't really know much about the author either, but I did read an interview with her on Book Trib. I discovered that she has a degree in chemical engineering. So I was thinking, oh, that's a little bit interesting, like a similarity in some ways to Allie Hazelwood, who's a neuroscientist or something. No, what a chemical, a rocket scientist? She's really smart and she's a woman in STEM.

Bridget

Yeah, I couldn't tell you what she is, but we we know she's a woman in STEM. Yeah.

Laura

Steminist novellas.

Bridget

She's a steminist.

Laura

The only other thing that I took from that same interview, which we'll link in our show notes, is that the interviewer says, before becoming a writer and having your own novel released, you were also a books to grammar, promoting some of your favourite books, blah blah blah. How did you decide to start writing and publishing your books and what advice do you have, etc.? And in her response, Elena says, There is a quote from a Hillary Duff movie from the 2000s that has always stuck with me. Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Bridget

You're not very pretty, and you're not very bright.

Laura

I love that so much. I mean, I hate this book. I hate this book so much, but that endeared her to me a little bit. Something that I've seen popping up again and again are the parallels between this book and our fave, the hating game. And so I thought we could maybe start with like a brief overview of what actually unfolds in this novel and compare it to our fave. A reviewer Miller on Goodreads has called it the poor man's hating game. And so just off the top of my head, Catalina faints in the office and Aaron's taking care of her, kind of mirrors that one where Lucy is like vomiting and Josh is looking after her. It's obviously a workplace romance. Date for hire.

Bridget

She had to get in his car because it was pouring down rain.

Laura

Yes.

Bridget

A bad father. Yes. He's an enormous man.

Laura

She's the tiniest girl. They go on a random holiday.

Bridget

Another similarity is the way that she treats her co-workers. So she was bringing in muffins for people. She was giving them megawatt smiles.

Laura

Yes, and also the way that she was sort of like aware of her sexuality. Like, I'm a tiny heart woman, but like, mmm, was the way that she was leveraging that landing as well as we found it to land in the hating game? Big questions to be answered later in the episode. Wow, the suspense is killing me. Oh, which way are we gonna go? Should we start talking about our characters?

Bridget

Yeah, let's go. Catalina.

Laura

Catalina. I have so much to say, but I happened upon a review on Goodreads by someone named Kyra that said everything I wanted to say and more. So I'll read it out. First up, Catalina. She is so stupid that it's painful to watch. She has the IQ level of a used condom. This girl is so dumb that if I saw her stick a fork into an outlet, I'd say this was one of her good days. This girl should be in history books because how can you be this brainless and stay alive on your own for this long? She's in her 30s. I think she's actually 28. But I would not trust her with a plastic knife.

Bridget

Do you agree with this review? I do agree with this review. I think that her personality doesn't make any sense. The things that she says don't match up with the things that she does. They don't match up with the perceptions and the opinions that her family has about her, and that doesn't match up to what her friends think, well her friend thinks about her, and that doesn't match up to what Aaron thinks about her. And none of those things match up to what she thinks about herself, and I think it's a convoluted mess of a character. She is a hot mess. And not even in an endearing way. It's just let's chuck as many different tropes and stereotypes as we can at this character and hope that that somehow makes her into a well-formed character. And it didn't. I don't know who she is. She's an idiot.

Laura

That's is exactly what she comes across as. Just like an absolute unhinged, hapless idiot. I wrote that she is a self-pitying moron in an 100% self-created, completely avoidable situation, crying, why me? Yes.

Bridget

And she doesn't listen to anything that anyone says. She doesn't read any cues from anybody. She doesn't think analytically about a single thing in her life. She's like, if there was, I don't know, like if a wall was painted green, she'd somehow think that that was done to hurt her. And she'd think, don't they know I hate green?

Laura

Like, she's I hate her. She's so dumb. I hate her so much. I think like a great example of what you're saying is in this bit. And I I can't remember exactly, but you know, Aaron says, Oh, you'll have a blueberry muffin, right? And she's like, What the actual freak? Like, how does he know I want a blueberry muffin? And he says, Oh, you mutter to yourself a lot. And then she's like, Are you a freaking mind reader? No, babe. He literally just says, You talk and he listens. Like, that's how it works, getting to know someone.

Bridget

And also, that's how a normal conversation works. He says, You like blueberry muffins. Her face looks confused. She doesn't say anything because she's having these rambling thoughts. She doesn't answer him, and then he's like, Oh, I know that because you talk. Like she is always in her head, and nothing ever comes out of her mouth. That's not true. But then at the same time. The whole book is dialogue. When I was listening to the audiobook, I was thinking if I left my phone in this room, went for a walk around the block, I'd come back and they'd still be in the same conversation.

Laura

Yes. That's exactly right. I think each chapter just like percolates on one conversation or one thought that she is having, and they stretch it out over like 50 pages.

Bridget

And it's funny because like one of my notes is too much dialogue, and then another one is too many thoughts. It's the too much of both, and there's nothing good about it.

Laura

Yeah. And at the same time, also one of my notes was that even Anastasia and Nate spoke more than these two. Like, what are they saying to each other?

Bridget

I don't know. And then when they finally get together, because of course they do, they just sit. Actually, no, scratch that. Before they even get together, when she still thinks I hate him, he hates me, even though he's never done a single thing really to show that he hates her, they just sit there and stare at each other. That's all they do. Always just looking into the eyes, and they're just staring the whole time. These two freaks, they are freaks.

Laura

They are freaks because also they don't speak to each other, but then the longest conversations they end up having is when he's like, I want you on your elbows. I'm gonna milk you. I want you to milk me. I want to fall asleep with it inside. And she's like, Oh, heavens above, or like the longest conversations they have are these like just rancid, like dirty talk.

Bridget

And that along with that, they also just have these soul-bearing conversations where they just say the same shit but in different fonts. Like they're like, You are my life now, I have never known anything like I know you, and then five pages later, you are my life now. I have never known anything like I know you. It's the same shit, but they just say it in different ways, and I'm I was so sick of reading, like his voice was quickly becoming the most familiar thing to me in the world. I love his voice. His voice is so sexy, he's so tall. I love his voice. Was there an editor? Is my question.

Laura

I don't think I've ever read a book where more stuff should have been cut out of it. Three-quarters of it at least. Should not shouldn't have been there. Like it was unnecessary for everything else that unfolded in the book.

Bridget

I think we've forgotten we were talking about Catalina, so let's take it back to her for just a second. Characters like this are what give millennials a bad name. So we had the talk about Disney. She was shocked that he knew of the Lion King. He liked up. Is that even Disney? Dunno, don't care. But like what why did we have to read two separate conversations about Disney? And she was obsessed with brownies. She was obsessed with hot chocolate. What else was she obsessed with? Being thin.

Laura

I think we do need to revisit the Disney conversation because I think it shows what a simple, simple girl she is, and it kind of wraps up all of the elements that I hated about this book, which are like the meaningless natter between them, her incessant inner monologue, and just like too much time spent on the dumbest things. This is gonna be a bit of a long one. Aaron appeared in my field of vision, coming to a stop in front of me. Are you referencing Mufasa's death? My fingers stopped working, hovering above my temples. You like the Lion King? Of course. Any other Disney movies? I was tempting my luck here. Aaron's expression remained serious. All of them. Shit! Even Frozen, Tangled, The Princess and the Frog? I asked, and he nodded. I love animated movies. They take my mind off things. He dipped his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Disney, Pixar. I'm a big fan. This was too much. First he'd opened up about his childhood earlier today, and now this? I wanted to ask how and why, but there was a more pressing issue. What's your favorite? Please don't say the one that will send my heart into cardiac arrest. Please don't say it. Up. He had said it. My heart struggled there for a moment, and the little spot that had been softening throughout the night got a little bigger. Oh, the word breathlessly left my lips. It was all I managed. Are you for real?

Bridget

I would love to do a quick survey of everyone listening right now. Put your hand up if you've never seen or heard of The Lion King. Yep, that's right. No one. Shit! The other day I was at Kmart and I saw this guy that I know, and he's like a real kind of like Eshe. And I said, Hey, what are you doing? And he's like, Oh, I just went and saw the Mufasa movie. It was so good, hey, go and see it. It's so good. You really understand Scar's motivation than The Lion King. The measure of a man. Even this Eshe knows that the Lion King. Like, it's not, it's not a who cares?

Laura

I have been taking your advice and I've been leaving myself voice memos and then reading the transcripts throughout the process of reading this book. And I'm spiralling hard in all of these voice messages. They normally start with, I hate this book, and end with, I hate this book. And there's a lot of swearing in between. One of them says, I think the senseless and incessant chatter that Catalina persists with has really rubbed me the wrong way. It reminds me of some people I know. I hate every thought. I hate every single thought that passes through her head. This book, this book, dot dot dot. I don't want to do this podcast anymore. That's how this book makes me feel. Genuinely reading this book, I'm like, oh my god, I can't do this anymore. I don't think I can keep doing this, and this is her fault. It makes me feel bad to say that I don't like her and I don't like these jokes and I don't like this humour because there are people like this in the world and they're not bad people.

Bridget

No. And look, I was reading the five-star reviews before, and I did say something like, Do these people have a brain, or something like that? Because there were so many people that were like, I love this book. I've read this 17 times and I love it. And I mean, good for you, but why? How? I don't know how.

Laura

I just don't understand what you're getting from it. Because even in this realm of fiction, there's so much more on offer.

Bridget

I mean, I know, like, you know, that's the beauty of art, everything's subjective, but it's like really I think I want to say a little bit more about this when we get to Aaron, because I think this is a criticism that could be served to him as well. But I just feel like she is I was gonna say amalgamation, but it it's been an unsuccessful amalgamation of qualities of characters that are enjoyable from all different kinds of fiction, I think. And I don't think any of it really like formed itself well enough to make me aware of who this character was. I don't understand who she was or who she was trying to be. Her inner voice just gave me the shits. She would say stupid things like she put her pajamas on, and then she'd call it her jammies, and then she'd say sleeping shirt, and I just don't know why. And then another another thing that really made me question existence is how many times she said I watched his throat work. What's that man doing with that thing? I hate that description. I know what she's trying to say. I I get it, I hate it. I mean, is this the right time to talk about the ocean blue eyes? Ocean eyes, deep blue eyes had to be at least 70 times.

Laura

I wished so hard that I had an ebook copy so that I could have like done a find and search for like blue eyes, ocean blue eyes, chicken that came up a weird amount of times. Freaking, mother freaking, soon-to-be boss, just like a random Spanish like curse word. Yeah. Just peppered in there. Yeah, I think exactly what you said. She has these traits and these thoughts and feelings, but they're never explored and they never line up with one another. We just never learn anything about her. And then the book spends so much time on these like stupid thoughts or mundane moments, and then like when things finally start happening, it's just all meaningless because she's pissed you off so much that you don't care.

Bridget

I think that even Catalina was confused about who she was meant to be because she would say things that contradicted what she had said earlier, or she would just get the wrong end of the stick about the smallest things. She just said things that would leave me just confused. Like when they got back from Spain and he said, Come home with me, and then they're talking about having dinner, and he said, You can pick anything you want, and she's like, Even fish tacos? Yeah. But at the start of the book, he said, I love fish tacos. What or even the thing that we both love? I can even pick that. You'd let me pick our favorite meal.

Laura

It's stum. And yeah, and things like okay, so she's like a woman in STEM. She's working at this engineering company. I think the main moment I liked her was maybe in chapter two, when she was sort of standing up to Gerald, I think, about like his sexism in the workplace. I think she kind of called him out on it and no one else had her back. And I was like, okay, like maybe she's gonna be a kind of tough character. But then from there, she just sort of makes herself so stupid and so small and has these thoughts and these things that come out of her mouth that don't align with this impression of herself she's trying to give. Like there's this random line in chapter four or five or something where she's like, it was ugly and miserable, just like I was. And I was like, excuse me. And then she says something crazy, like, I was at my lowest, and she starts like smashing her head. She starts smashing her head on the desk, and the description on the page is like bang, bang, bang. And she's like yelling at herself in Spanish. Like she's actually that's insane behavior. She's meant to be sort of leading projects and this decisive, headstrong, like, don't buy my cookie, like, I can do it. Anything a boy can do, I can do better. But she's also saying things like, I hope you don't want to go number two in my house. Excuse me. And again, like I don't want to like yuck someone's humorous yum, but things like when they're at the auction and that old lady is bidding on Aaron and Catalina's like bent out of shape about it. And then she says something like, Oh, I wanted to poke my tongue out at her, but I knew that would be 10,000 shades of inappropriate. Like, is that the worst thing that you can think of? That's the worst, craziest thing you can think of. You are so dull.

Bridget

It is so funny that you just said that because I forgot all about the auction. When you said auction, I was like, What? And I read this book twice. So there's so many things in this book that I think if they had been given a little bit more care or a little bit more thought had gone into the way that they were constructed, it would have been a really good story. I think the workplace drama with Gerald would have been so interesting. I think exploring the idea of a Mrs. Robinson type character at the auction would have been good. Like, why was he so shaken by whatever happened last year? Like it was built up to be this big thing, and then it was just like, oh yeah, she didn't like it because I took her to the pound, basically. Out of context, she wanted pound town, but we just went to pound. Nice work there. The oh I mean, the whole situation with Danielle, like that whole thing. I mean, the dad's cancer diagnosis, all of these things are elements that can make a story great and provide tension and provide plot. But it would build, build, build, and then it it would just all come crashing down.

Laura

Yeah, I I mean, like, I think a perfect example of this as well is when, like, spoiler alert, over three-quarters of the way through the book, they finally kiss and smash, like in very quick succession. But the start of that is like, you know, end of chapter 22 or something, and they are kissing or something, and he's like, No, I'm not gonna have sex with you until XYZ, I can't remember what he says. And then two pages later, or three pages at the absolute most, they smashed. Like, yeah, it was about an hour tops. Yeah, why did you even stop? Just keep going. I don't know.

Bridget

Let's move on to Aaron Blackford because I think a lot of these criticisms can and should be delivered to him as well because he sucks. Now, the author Elena, she is very, very proud of the character Aaron Blackford. Her Twitter slash X bio says New York Times bestselling romance author and most importantly, in brackets, mother of Aaron Blackford. And I couldn't count, I lost count of how many reviews I saw lamenting the fact that Aaron Blackford is not a real man. And where can I find myself in Aaron Blackford? When will I find him? When will my life be complete? And I saw at least five different people say they cried at the end of the book because Aaron Blackford was not a real man. And I say to that, he's not even a real man in the book. He's the husk of a man. Who is he?

Laura

What what is he like? What does he do? I couldn't tell ya. I think everything I learned about him, I was like, huh? Like it was whiplash. Or it just made no sense. It probably, in order for it to be whiplash, there would need to be something rooted in reality that clicked with me, which never happened.

Bridget

I don't think there was a single point where I thought, I like this guy. And as we know, normally we're quite lenient on the men in these stories because I mean they're quite normally quite inoffensive, but he was so boring and then so offensive. And so offensive. And as we know, Edward Cullen, the most toxic of all, we love him. This guy, no. No. Couldn't find a single thing that I thought about him. Yeah, I like this guy.

Laura

The very first sentence of the book is his dialogue, and it was off to a bad start for me from that moment. I listened to the audiobook first. I read the book and I listened to the audiobook, and I have to say, there is a certain goblin-esque tone that the author manages to generate for Aaron's voice. I agree. I think we might listen to the same audiobook because I agree. It was very much giving do the roar. And so the first thing he says is, I'll be your date to the wedding. And I was like, Yuck, yuck, it must be a loser. Like the hot guy must swoop in to save the day, like from this neck beard who's like begging to go to the wedding with her.

Bridget

As is well documented, this is a problem I have with audiobooks because I don't like most of the time the female narrators, because I don't like when they put on a manly voice to talk like this. That gr is gross. But also, what's grosser is there's a man narrating the audiobook, as we know, I've as I've complained about many times. But I think the audiobook this time, luckily, was of the same quality as the book. So it didn't ruin anything for me this time.

Laura

Now that you've got me thinking about it, I agree. I hated both.

Bridget

Did you say you thought he was a neckbeard? And then Aaron was gonna come and swoop in and save her.

Laura

Yes. Amazing, right? And when I first read it, the dialogue between her and her friend and this guy that I thought was a neckbeard was really quite socially stunted, and there was a lot of like stupid, obvious show-don't tell type dialogue. And then in chapter two, it was like we work at an engineering company, and I was like, ah, okay, they're just engineers. Because in my experience, I feel like engineers are quite socially stunted, and so I thought, like, respectfully, I mean, I know there's like goodies and baddies, but I think overall conversations don't flow so well, and so I was like, that makes sense. So I was picturing Aaron as this kind of like nerdy, socially inept, awkward guy, and then suddenly she flips, and we're being asked to think of him as this like hottie. And I don't think that distinction was ever clear in her own head as well.

Bridget

And this is another comparison to the hating game as well, because the hating game, Josh was a bit of a dick, but it turned out that he was shy, a shy guy. And at one point I thought this was where Aaron was heading as well, but we never got any confirmation of that. And so I'm still confused. Was he shy? Was he just aloof? Did he just think that these people weren't worth his time? I don't really understand his personality when he was at work. I really, really can't fathom that she has worked with this guy for nearly two years and she has not seen him smile one time. I really thought about this. I thought, is there anyone that I work with or in my life that I have never seen smile? And no, I don't think so. Does he not say good morning to people? Does he not have a a connection with anyone in the office? How did he think he was gonna win her over if he could never even smile? The first time she saw him smile was when he was on the stage. Has nothing pleasant remotely ever happened to this man? Two years, and apparently he's a workaholic, so she'd be seeing him all the time. Following on from this point was my next question. So as you said, there was quite a sudden flip of this guy sucks, I hate him, to this guy's hot, I love him. And the question that I want to ask you was do you think that her attraction or feelings or her surprise love for him was genuine or was it Stockholm syndrome, or was she just horny?

Laura

I think a little of the last two. I think as we've established, she is like quite a simple girl with extremely low self-esteem. And so the journey that I would have liked to see this book take is her sort of being like, hang on a minute. I don't need to starve myself, I don't need to live in this lie. Like, my family should respect me whether I do or don't have a partner. What happened in the past sucked, and I'm healing from it. And it's nice that this man's stepping in, but I don't need a man to intervene. Maybe I'll find companionship along the way. Maybe I'll like prove myself in the workplace because that's something that I haven't addressed up until any point in my life. But none of that happens in this book. And she keeps making herself small and she keeps making stupid decisions, and so I think there's a degree where she's like, This is all I can get, this is all I'm worth, and this is as good as it gets. Like, okay, I don't actually think it's that deep, but that's the only way I can make it make sense in this book.

Bridget

And if I think about Aaron's behavior and I try to like scour the 500 pages for the nice things he did before they were confessing their undying love for each other, I feel like he printed out a document for her. He gave her a granole or a barrow a few times. I don't know, what else did he do?

Laura

I can't even stand up for her when that guy was shaming her.

Bridget

And he did say later that I didn't think you'd want me to.

Laura

Because she's allegedly so headstrong.

Bridget

But I think a bit of support's always nice. You don't have to take over the situation, but sitting there in silence isn't doing much anyway.

Laura

I guess he paid for her coffee that time. Yeah, but after she was like, Don't pay for my coffee. I can do it myself. Fine.

Bridget

We'll take the lot. I was thinking to myself, if I had this interaction at my local coffee shop. Like if you were the waitress. Well, even if I was Catalina or Aaron, anyone in that interaction, what a wild thing to be a part of. Because waitress, you'd be thinking, hurry up. I've got so much stuff to do, I've got to go and polish that cutlery. Catalina, like, how is she gonna carry all that food out? What's she gonna do with all that food? She's going to Spain in a few days.

Laura

And she's been actively starving herself.

Bridget

And thirdly, Aaron, I can't even imagine how much money that would be. And maybe in America that would be different. But I would say at my local coffee shop, there'd be maybe 10 15 things in the cabinet. And I don't think you could get one thing in that cabinet that would be less than maybe eight dollars, nine dollars. Yeah. That's a lot of money to spend on snacks when you're leaving the country in about three days.

Laura

She's not for the people. I really do want to circle back to the granola bar because that was again so early in the book and just so painful to read. And you would think like a scene involving a granola bar, how bad can it be? But I'll read it out to you. Looking down, my gaze found something wrapped in wax paper. It was a square, about three or four inches long. What's this? I asked him, my eyes jumping to his profile. A granola bar, he answered, without looking at me, typing on his keyboard, you are hungry, eat it. I watched my hands move to the snack on their own accord. Once unwrapped, I inspected it closely. Homemade. It had to be, judging by the way the roasted oats, dried fruits, and nuts were assembled together. I heard Aaron's long sigh. If you ask me if it's poisoned, I swear no, I murmured. Then I shook my head, feeling that weird pressure in my chest again. So I took the snack to my mouth, bit into it, and holy granola bars, I moaned in delight. For Christ's sake, the man to my right muttered under his breath, gobbling all the nutty and sugary amazingness down, I shrugged. Sorry, it was a moanworthy bite. I swear to god I threw up in my mouth reading. I just like every like every utterance, a dialogue, whatever, like the shit in between. I hated it all.

Bridget

Did she say it was three or four inches long and it was a square? That is a big chunk of granola bar. That is a slab.

Laura

There's so much stuff like this in the book where she's putting in this flowery, crazy language that adds absolutely zero value. In fact, it attracts negative value. Yeah. There's this section where he is picking up a rugby ball, and instead of just saying, Oh, his hands were capable with a rugby ball, it said something like, He passed a brown leather melon-shaped ball back and forth. Like there's so many examples of this where it just loses meaning. It doesn't add anything. What else do you have to say about Aaron?

Bridget

I mean, honestly, not that much else because I feel like he is a mirror. He reflects the best parts of other male characters in other books. And then you so you think he's this well-rounded character, but it's really just that he reminds you of every other main love interest in one of these books. And you think, oh, that's like this guy. That's like Josh in the hating game. That's like this guy. He's protective like Rissand. He's blah blah blah. And I just think there's nothing about him. He's so boring to me.

Laura

I think that's really smart. I would agree with you. I think I was like really clutching at straws, trying to contextualize him. Like when they went to the auction and there was Mrs. Archibald or whatever her name was, I was like, oh, okay, so it's like gossip girl. Like he's Upper East Side, you know, is he a Chuck Bass type character? Oh, okay, he's old money. And I was like trying to figure out who he was through the context of other characters. But then I would also say through the process of being somewhat characterized, he became truly terrible. Like once the baby started coming out of his mouth, like once he started saying baby, it he was over. Like it was like an utter character assassination of someone who was like on life support in the first place. He had so many insane things come out of his mouth once they started having sex. And I think this is something that we find very often in these types of books that you can have a male character that's like, okay, normally they're quite bad, but then they become worse, and they start saying like chat GPT generated like filthy, dirty talk, which is obviously the point, but it just like doesn't work. Like people can have sex with personality. And one of the craziest things he said when they were having sex was, yes, it's all because of you. It's you who makes my cock this hard, and it's you who makes my heart want to plunder out of my chest with a brief touch or a simple look.

Bridget

I just am picturing the author like typing that. That'll get him. That's the most romantic thing that anyone could ever say. Get who? I was having thoughts just like what you just said as well. And there was one point where I was listening to the audiobook and then I stopped in the middle of a sex scene, and then I went away, came back, and I pressed play again, and it was the line, and it's on page 422, if you're reading along. They're in the kitchen, and he says, I should take you to my bed, blah blah blah. Whimpering, I pushed into his hips, he grunted and then reared back. I heard him unzip his pants, then I felt his hard length against my arse. He moved up and down, and I could tell he had just pulled himself out of his jeans, hadn't even bothered to push them down or take them off. Madness. You know the times I have jerked off to the thought of you and your hands on your elbows. He passed his shaft along my ass, making me moan in need, or bent over my knee after getting all mouthy with me. This is someone you work with, and you are admitting to her after maybe being together for a day that you've been fantasizing about having her bent over your knee after getting all mouthy with me in the workplace and she's moaning about that. He said, Oh, then his voice lowered. Sounds like you'd love that as much as me. That is disgraceful. It's disgraceful. To say that about your colleague. You're gonna be her boss in like a week. I'm screaming into the microphone. I'm sorry, but I it really because I didn't even that didn't even register to me the first time I read it. Oh I was shocked. Shocking thing to say.

Laura

I highlighted that same section, jerked off question mark, he's terrifying question mark, how degrading question mark, question mark, question mark.

Bridget

In the moment, I don't think she would be thinking anything like that. But if that were me, like two days later, I'd be like, hang on.

Laura

That was weird. Yeah, on your elbows, on your hands and knees. Oh, can he not even like in his fantasies, he cannot respect her.

Bridget

Especially because he didn't show her any respect before all this came out, before they went to Spain, and she didn't show him any respect either. There's no relationship, there's no foundation to fall back on. So he's just been like actively hating on her at work, actively being rude to her at work, saying that don't be late, it's not cute, when she was late once, and then he's going home and fantasizing about basically hitting her.

Laura

Honestly, I'm not trying to be dramatic, but he really did give me quite sinister vibes towards the end. Like, with yeah, exactly that in mind, he is not nice to her and they have no relationship. And like, I just think maybe I, you know, maybe I'm in a bit of a spiral given the state of the world and like the way men seem to be emboldened to act lately. I that's like a huge sweeping statement, but genuinely, like it is quite scary the thought that he's like in love with her, allegedly, but he's treating her so terribly, and his fantasy is like degrading to her, and he still gets what he wants, and then like as soon as he gets what he wants, there was a scene where she slips away for like one second to text her friend, who by the way, like who cares about them, who needs them? Their friend's purpose is there to just be like now Kith, and so she's texting her friend, OMG, like I got laid, and then he's like, Where are you? And was starting to think you're hiding from me, like the second she's away from him for a minute, and that's scary, that should be ringing alarm bells.

Bridget

When she was getting ready for the fundraiser, and she was in her bathroom in her own house, and he had not given her any indication of where they were going, he just said evening gown. He pretty much broke down the door because she didn't answer him. In her own home. I hate this man. I genuinely thought he was quite terrifying. Shall we talk quickly about the side characters? Because I don't have much to say, but there's a few things I'd like to bring up.

Laura

Yeah. Okay. Outside of the fact that I thought it was extremely weird that her sister asked her more than once for a picture of Aaron's penis.

Bridget

Very, very strange. Maybe that's people's relationship they have with their sister.

Laura

Sisters of the world weigh in. I personally can't see myself having that relationship with the sister. And even with a friend, I think that's like a pretty huge invasion of privacy, whether you're dating someone or otherwise. I think if it's an unsolicited dick pic, then it's your choice to show it to whoever you please. But I think that's really questionable behaviour.

Bridget

And it didn't seem like there was a precedent for this kind of conversation between them either, because obviously she's been single for six years since she met Danielle and all that happened. And I out of the blue, that's the first thing you ask.

Laura

Crazy. You're like, show me the penis. And then you're like, I wonder why Catalina doesn't bring any boys home.

Bridget

This is the thing, right? So she's so worried about her family. She says at many points that they know her so well that they will be able to tell immediately that she is hiding something. Not one person suspected a thing other than Danielle, but that was for different reasons. At no point did she act like she was in a relationship with him. She was scared at the thought of any physical contact with him. She was jumpy, she was flighty. Also, she was in a bad mood that whole time. Have a bit of an attitude adjustment, Catalina. It's your sister's wedding. This is her hen's party. She wants you to participate. Don't go and sulk in the corner of wherever you are just because you don't like playing soccer. Get a grip, you're 28 years old. Like get yourself together. It's your sister's wedding.

Laura

And she made it all about her. From her own perspective, she's an extremely selfless, upright, bright, happy, cheerful character.

Bridget

And they were all saying she's extroverted. She's a a thunderbolt. She, whatever all those other stupid adjectives they were using to describe her. But I don't think she was extroverted at all. I thought she was boring, she was self-centered, and she was sooky the whole time. Another thing I thought about the side characters is that they were all the same. So Rosie was the same character as the sister, the sister was the same character as the cousin. And so everybody had the same violent, lovable qualities. And they were all saying, like, sweetie, honey, I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't tell me about your boyfriend. If you don't know that Aaron's desperately in love with you, then I'm gonna kick your ass, sweetie. Like any one of them could have said that. And a reviewer on Goodreads has read this book five times. In her review, she had noted each time it was a reread and her, you know, subsequent thoughts after each reread. And when she came to talk about Rosie, she said best friend. Can't even remember her name, but she was so nice, lol, or something like that. And I thought, if you're someone who's read this book five times and you can't remember the best friend's name, then that character should not be in the book.

Laura

Oh, that's so funny. You know, like the Beckdell test that we do for movies, like oh, maybe it's any sort of media. Two named female characters having a conversation about something other than a man. And I feel like there should be some sort of equivalent that we set for books. It's like a named character having a conversation with the protagonist that isn't about their relationship. Nobody was talking to her about like, how's work? Here's what's going on with me. Would you like to come and see some of the sights and sounds of Spain? Everyone was just like, that man loves you. Go get your guy. It was just, they were just all there to enforce the the like good plan, like great relationship. The representation of Spain and Spanish culture was something I was kind of wondering about as well. And obviously it's not really for me to comment on, but Elena Armas is Spanish, which I found to be surprising once I discovered it. In that same interview I was referencing earlier on Book Trib, the interviewer asks her about like her background and the importance of sharing culture and characters inspired by her own background. And she says, representation is a work in progress in literature, and as much as we've come a long way, I think there's still more to be done. What pushed me to include all those little parts of myself and my culture were two main things. One, the lack of a realistic and non-stereotypical representation of my culture and literature I was consuming, and two, the hope for Hispanic readers to relate to a Spanish main character like Catalina. And so it's obviously not for me to say whether that she is or isn't relatable or whether the culture is well represented. But as far as I'm concerned, like this book could have been called like the freaking like Idaho Love Deception or something. Like there's nothing, I just didn't see it or feel it. And maybe that's what she means when she says she wants to show a non-stereotypical representation, but like it just didn't come across, it wasn't clear to me whatsoever.

Bridget

When I was reading the book and Rosie would make an appearance, I just asked myself every single time, why is she here? And then when I finished the book and I went on to Goodreads, I found exactly why she was here. The second book in the Love Deception series is a book from Rosie's perspective. And it sounds like a real good one. Rosie Graham has a problem. A few actually. She just quit her well-paid job to focus on her secret career as a romance writer. She hasn't told her family and now has terrible writers block. Then the ceiling of her New York apartment literally crumbles on her. Luckily she has her best friend Lena's spare key while she's out of town. But Rosie doesn't know that Lena has already lent her apartment to her cousin Lucas, who Rosie has been stalking, for lack of a better word, on Instagram for the last few nights. Lucas seems intent on coming to her rescue like a Spanish knight in shining armor. Only this one strolls around the place in a towel and has a distracting grin and an irresistible accent. Oh, and he cooks. Sounds awful. Won't be reading.

Laura

I actually like when I was looking for this book, I was looking on Marketplace and so many came as a set like Spanish Love Deception and American Roommate Experiment or whatever you just said it was called. And I was like, no, absolutely skip, skip. I will never why would I purchase the second one?

Bridget

So this is just another subpar romance book where they spend a lot of time setting up for future cash grab books where they write a whole story about someone who was so boring that they shouldn't even be in the first one. I was wondering if you had any ideas for what she could call the third book in the series. So we had The Spanish Love Deception and then we had the American Roommate Experiment. I was thinking like the Italian criminal investigation or something.

Laura

What do you think her next one should be? Um Russian mafia showdown or something.

Bridget

It's a pretty good um recipe because she's got a lot of countries she could do this for. Yeah. She could keep going for a long time. The Macedonian Maze Spray incident.

Laura

The Sydney Hostel incident. Yeah, she can even branch out to cities. Yeah. Why stop there? The Toowoomba Range breakdown. It was so funny. I don't know if you picked it up in this book, but we did actually get a title drop. Yeah. Which is I don't think you really see that in a book that much.

Bridget

You see it in like movies and songs and stuff, but it was a bit of a shock to me.

Laura

How can we keep up this Spanish love deception?

Bridget

Sort of reminded me a lot of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Laura

Fifty Shades of Peepy, whatever it is. Fucked up. Fifty Shades of Tw sick and twisted. Fifty Shades of Wrong. I saw Fifty Shades of Wrong in his deep grey eyes.

Bridget

I feel like she might have read Fifty Shades of Grey at least three times.

Laura

Well, we did get a Twilight mention.

Bridget

Yes. Which was one of its only redeeming features, I think.

Laura

Yeah, like one sentence of redemption immediately cancelled. I think we're sort of at the end of the episode where I'm just rattling off the random things I have in the notes. But one of the things is, where was the wedding? We didn't even go to the wedding. We sort of they did some like little games before the wedding and then like had sex after the wedding, and we never even saw it.

Bridget

So much time was spent on that stupid kiss cam at the wedding reception. If I went to a wedding where there was a kiss cam, I would leave.

Laura

So dumb.

Bridget

I had to pay more for this package. So luckily, luckily they give us the footage so we can watch we can watch all of our friends and family kissing.

Laura

What kind of freak wants to watch that? All I have left are my tapes. There was one more like random scene that really, really got to me. It was kind of similar to things we saw in Icebreaker, for example, where at the start of the page she's like, Oh, I hate him. Why does he look so good dancing? I hate the thought of not being with him, like over the course of a page. And so this is in chapter 14 when they're on the plane, and it starts off, you know, her saying, like, oh, he's so irritating, and then she says something like, Oh, I really don't know how we're gonna convince my family an international war isn't gonna break out between us. Which, first of all, babe, like, I don't know where you're getting that because you guys actually, like, quite genuinely, they have not had a single argument up to this point. I have not seen them have a single argument.

Bridget

All that we have had is her telling us how much he annoys her and him saying things like, You're a ridiculous woman when she has packed uh backup outfits for a wedding, which I think is quite a sensible thing to do.

Laura

This passage is quite long and it comes in chapter 14. They're on the plane to Spain. She's like giving him a pop quiz on all of her family and family members. I would have instantly criticized his pronunciation if not for what he did next and the shock that it induced in my body. His arm rose in the air, his big hand reaching for my face very slowly. My eyes switched from that hand to his face, finding his gaze fixed somewhere just above my chin. And then, before I could stop what was about to happen, his thumb made contact with my skin. Very softly. He was brushing my cheek very close to my mouth. All and every complaint died and went up to heaven the moment his finger swiped over my skin. He started talking again, looking engrossed by the motion of his thumb. Chado, he repeated distractedly. While I I simply remained frozen in place, feeling how that simple contact against my skin seemed to awaken little fires all across my body. You said I must run away from a redhead, inquisitive green eyes, and little to no shame, and that would be Chado. How such a gentle contact could scorch my skin so effectively was something that I couldn't understand. My lips parted, a shaky breath leaving them. Only then did Aaron's eyes look up and meet mine. My blood swirled, rising to my neck, my cheeks, my temples spreading out as I held his gaze, the blue in his eyes turning a little darker. When Aaron looked away just as he retrieved his thumb, I felt myself relax. But it was short-lived because as soon as my gaze fell down and found his hand as it hovered in the air, I discovered with horror that there was a single smudge of chocolate on his thumb. Chocolate which had been on my face less than a couple of seconds ago. Oh Lord, and yet what almost knocked me off my seat and onto the carpeted floor of the aircraft turned out to be something else entirely. Not the knowledge that I had been talking for a small eternity with cake hanging from my face, nope. Or the knowledge that I had done so in front of Aaron, who would probably use this against me in future, no. What almost knocked me on my ass, if not for the seatbelt, was Aaron parting those lips that was so often pressed in an unamused line, and licking the chocolate clean off his thumb. Chocolate, which had just been retrieved from the corner of my mouth. A riot of emotion burst inside my belly as I watched his throat gulp it down, appreciation flashing through his face, and I holy shit, I just stared at him completely dot dot dot, enraptured, utterly shocked. I should have been appalled, but I wasn't. My brown eyes were now fixed on Aaron's mouth, noticing how all the heat that I'd felt in my face travelled around my body to all kinds of interesting places, all while keeping my eyes where they were on his lips. Kill me. That was almost two pages long. That was amazing. Almost two pages long.

Bridget

And the For one thing. Also, may I remind us all, that's her colleague. And soon-to-be boss doing that.

Laura

Can you imagine eating a crumb from someone's face? That's disgusting. Who wouldn't even eat a crumb off Brown's face?

Bridget

Yuck. I also think that she skipped over the fact that they were in first class way too quickly.

Laura

That should have been what you focused on. I I was focused on that. That's my dream. Okay, Bridget. It's that time of the episode where we have to list our favourite and least favourite characters. I know it's gonna be hard, but could you give me your favourite? Um no.

Bridget

I can't. Not a single name is coming to my mind.

Laura

How about you?

Bridget

I might just copy yours.

Laura

Maybe um maybe the lady working at the cafe out of sympathy and solidarity.

Bridget

Yeah, yeah. Her.

Laura

Yep. What about your least favourite?

Bridget

Hmm. I think it has to be Catalina. Purely for the reason that we had to be in her head. If it was Aaron's book, it would be Aaron. Can you imagine? Yeah. That would be even worse. I do not want a midnight sun of this. That would be awful. I can't believe I just put that out into the world. Oh, I did not claim this energy.

Laura

No. How about you? Who is your least favourite? You took the words right out of my mouth. Exactly what you said, word for word.

Bridget

Nothing to add. To end the episode before we give our lit or shit rating, I just have a small section of a review from Emma on Goodreads. And Emma says, Finishing this rom com felt like taking a semester-long intensive course in the anatomy of the fruit fly. And that's how I felt both times I read it. I felt drained. I felt upset. I felt let down.

Laura

I felt disappointed. I felt angry. I feel exactly the same. I think often sometimes I have a tendency to be a little bit superfluous or dramatic for podcasting purposes. But I finished this book at least a week ago, and I have sat with it every day since then. And my feelings have only strengthened and solidified. I really, really, really did not enjoy reading this book. And I love to be balanced wherever possible, but I just can't with this. I just really struggle to see what you would enjoy in this book.

Bridget

Did we say one positive thing? I can't think I don't know if we did.

Laura

It's light.

Bridget

Yes.

Laura

If you're willing to sort of let go of reality somewhat and just have a sort of no bones, no thoughts, just vibes reading experience, then you might find a little bit of fun escapism in this book. But I still struggle to see how. Saying all that, little shit. Shit.

Bridget

Shit. Yes. It is so shit. Actually, has it been a while since we've had a unanimous shit? What's the last book we had that was a double shit? Huh.

Laura

Think of it's Atomic Habits.

Bridget

Oh. What's it? I think so. I forgot about that. Well, okay. Like Mufasa in The Lion King, it's time now to say goodbye. For the short and sweet month of February, we won't be releasing a bonus chapter episode. But our book for March is The Housemaid by Frida McFadden. Have your say on what we read next by keeping an eye on the link in our show notes and on our socials. Make sure you subscribe to the show, and if you want to be on the same page as us, follow us at talkclip.get on Instagram and TikTok.

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bridget bell

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